How to build a morning routine that fits your day, so that you can stick with it (even if you don't get up at 5 a.m.)

Do you recognize this? You’re not even fully awake in the morning or you’re already hunting. You’re doing ten things at once, forgetting two, and half of them don’t get finished. Chaos in your head, and you haven’t even left the house yet and you already feel rushed.

And then you think: I just lack discipline.

I believed that too, for years. But it wasn't true. The problem wasn't that my routine was too big. I didn't have any fixed structure at all. I did everything at once, in no particular order, I forgot things and didn't finish them. That is exactly why my morning felt chaotic and rushed.

A poll among my followers showed that many women experience their morning exactly like that.

Below I will show you how I brought structure into it. A morning routine that fits into my day, that I actually stick to, and that makes my morning calm. Not because I get up at 5 am, but regardless of what time I get up, because everything now has a fixed place.

Why most morning routines fail

Most morning routines don't stop because of a lack of willpower. They stop for these reasons:

• There is no fixed structure. You do something different every day, in a different order, so it never becomes a habit.
• You want everything at once. No one can sustain installing ten new things at the same time.
• They depend on motivation. And motivation comes and goes.

As soon as I brought a fixed order to it and started small, everything changed.

You don't have to be a morning person

Just this, because it held me back for a long time. Everywhere you see routines that start at 5 am. Cold bath, journaling, reading and working out, all before sunrise. If that gives you energy, great. But it didn't work for me, and it doesn't have to.

A routine that works is not a routine that is early. It is one that fits into your day. If you get up at 7 am, then you build your routine around 7 am. It’s about the order and the fixed place, not the hour on the clock.

The bigger picture: your day consists of 3 routines

I look at my day as three blocks: a morning routine, my work, and an evening routine. Everything I really want to do, I schedule in the morning or the evening, because I shape those blocks myself, consciously. I keep my afternoon short and functional.

We start with the morning, because it sets the tone for your whole day. If your morning goes calmly, you start your work with more focus.

Before I go to the practical steps, one more thing. I actually always start with a question: who do you want to be? Your routine namely follows from who you want to become. More on that in a separate blog. Here I keep it practical.

How to build your morning routine, step by step

Step 1. Start ridiculously small.
Not ten steps. One. One habit, one moment. So small that you cannot fail. That sounds too simple, and that is exactly why it works.

Step 2. Attach it to something you already do.
A new habit sticks better if you attach it to something you do anyway. For me: I take my supplements right after brushing my teeth. Two things I already do every morning, linked together, so I don't have to think about it anymore.

Step 3. Put everything in a fixed order.
A routine becomes a routine through repetition in the same order. Choose your steps and do them in the same order every day. After a while, you no longer have to think.

Step 4. Check and adjust.
A routine is not set in stone. It may evolve until it fits your morning.

Step 5. Only add something new when the previous one goes automatically.
This is the secret to sticking with it. Build layer by layer. Only when your first habit is really stuck, do you add the next one. This way your routine grows without ever becoming too heavy.

Let's get started: put your morning on paper

Do you want to start today? This is the exercise with which I brought structure into my own morning.

1. Write down what you do in the morning now, in the order that you do it, with roughly the time involved. Not how it should be, just how it really goes.
2. Put a plus sign next to every good, healthy habit. And a minus sign next to everything you would rather unlearn: snoozing, scrolling, a rushed or unhealthy breakfast.
3. See what you can omit or replace. Every minute you cut out makes room for something you do want to do.
4. Then write a new list, in the order that runs logically through your morning. For me: I make my bed after I come out of the bathroom, because I pass through my bedroom anyway. This way you don't lose steps or time.
5. Keep that list handy tomorrow while you do your routine. Notice yourself reaching for your phone quickly? Then write it down on a note, not on your mobile.
6. Follow the list, see what goes smoothly and what doesn't, and adjust gradually. Your routine may grow and change.

That is how you build not a perfect routine at once, but one that fits your morning and that stays put.

My own morning routine as an example

To make it concrete, this is my full morning routine, the longest version. On busy days I do a shorter one, and that is allowed.

• Back exercises, while still in bed.
• My workout outfit on, brush my teeth and my supplements with a large glass of water.
• My workout.
• Clothes on.
• My skincare, my hair and a bit of makeup.
• Make the bed and a fresh home perfume throughout the house.
• 5 minutes outside.
• Put in the laundry or the dishwasher, tidy up the house briefly.
• And only then: my coffee. I drink that consciously at the end, when everything is done. That is my reward.

This is not where I started. This is where I arrived after years, layer by layer. You start with one step. It’s not about the hour, and it doesn't have to be the full list every day.

What if it goes wrong

You are going to skip days. Everyone does that. A missed day is not a failure, it’s just a day. The mistake most people make is that they let everything go after a missed day. Don't do that. Just pick up the thread again the next morning. Progress over perfection, really.

Check where it went wrong, maybe you can adjust this step, make it smaller, put it in a different order, ...

The next step

Is your morning routine set? Then you can build it out to your evening, and later to your weekend. But start with the morning, and start small.

Do you want to build out your morning routine with care that really suits you? Discover my skincare and I'll be happy to show you which steps belong in your morning.

Enjoy your beauty.routines at home.